Come on!!!

Well, I feel as if someone has let go of that shoe and it's dropping. A few weeks ago, I started to have Braxton Hicks contractions, from the experiences with my pregnancy with Colton, I knew they were nothing to be concerned about. They gradually got stronger and stronger, then 2 nights ago they got very intense and 5 minutes apart. They just plain hurt!!! They felt like real contractions, I felt them all the way down to my bottom, and having gone through labor with Greyson I remember what they felt like. I was still hoping they were Braxton Hicks, and by about 1:00 am, they had mostly subsided. When I woke up yesterday morning, the contractions were gone, but I still felt a lot of pressure and just crampy. Tobin and my Mom were concerned so, I called the doctor. They told me to go to the hospital to be monitored. Thankfully I didn't have one contraction while I was there, but they did check me and I'm 2 1/2 - 3cm dilated. That scares me so much more than the contractions. With Colton, I was having contractions but never dilated, they were able to stop the contractions, but how do you stop dilation? The thing that scares me the most is that while pregnant with Greyson, I was dilated to about a 1 for near 2 weeks, but once I hit about 3 we were off and running!

This pregnancy has had it's share of complications (although very minor) at 6 weeks I had the swine flu (H1N1), and had to take Tamiflu. The PA at my doctor's office wasn't very thrilled about that and because the pregnancy was so early, her exact words were "you'll have to take it (because the flu CAN be more harmful to the baby than the medication) and we'll pray for the best". There are no real test studies on the affects of Tamiflu on first trimester pregnancies, or any pregnancies really. My doc says it's because pregnant women don't want to submit to new drug testing, I can't imagine why!!! I read the label and it seems the most likely complication in early pregnancy is skeletal malformation. I have had 5 ultrasounds and so far they have found no malformations, I ask at each one. Plus my doctor says he really feels there is nothing to worry about because Tamiflu is an antiviral and the baby is not a virus. After I recovered from the flu, I started to spot off and on for about 3 weeks, I was really expecting any day to lose the pregnancy. It turns out there was a tear in the placenta which was causing the spotting, it healed itself by the beginning of the 2nd trimester. I had to spend several days laying down w/my feet elevated due to that.

I know that this is incredibly selfish, because there are women going through much more complicated and stressful pregnancies, but I am just so scared of having a baby in the NICU. Having lost a nephew due to an infection from a breathing machine, it terrifies me. Granted Stephen's little body was very weak, which may be why he couldn't fight the infection, I just associat the NICU with a positive. I am praying that I can keep Audra in for at least 2 mor weeks. I am 35 weeks 4 days per the ultrasound (doc moved my due date up after 14 week ultrasound because she was measuring so big), or 34 wks 3 days by the date of my last period. I just pray the the ultrasound is correct and her lungs are on their way to full strength.