Ok, I've always liked to think of myself as an optimist, key word in that sentence being "think". I know that I tend to have a pessimistic side, but lately I feel like I've been sitting around just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was telling Tobin a couple of months ago that I'm starting to feel like we've been living in a bubble for the past few years, that nothing bad has touched us. I mean nothing devastatingly bad. I was laid off from my job last year, but even that has worked out in our favor. While, I'm still looking for work, I'm enjoying being at home taking care of my family. I have the most amazing sons, who make me laugh everyday, and the most amazing husband who works so hard for our family, he never seems to get a break and now the another blessing I'm 31 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. There was only a 20% chance that we would have a girl after two boys in a row. WOW!
Now the fears...I went into labor early with Colton at 32 weeks. It was very anti-climactic really. I started to have some contractions (dummy me, I thought it was gas -- LOL). Went to the hospital, thankfully I wasn't dilated at all, just contracting. The doctor was able to stop it with meds and bed rest. So I got 6 weeks of "vacation", I wasn't allowed to do anything. The fear is that I will go into labor with Audra and they won't be able to stop it. That isn't the only fear, believe me. I'm terrified everyday, every little cramp I have, every time she doesn't move for a couple of hours. Oh and the boys! I couldn't sleep the other night for fear that Colton's nightlight was going to burst into flames. I worry that Greyson will be snatched from school. Anything and everything! From my first blog, you see my concern with Tobin's job. I'm beginning to make myself a little crazy! Tobin tries to calm me and tell me it's the hormones. I guess that's possible. I try not to tell him all of my concerns because he tends to worry too.
I thank God often for the many, many blessings in my life! I don't want to seem ungrateful, I am so thankful for what I have and where I am in life. I know this whole blog seems silly, I will probably look back after the baby is born and think "Geez, I was going crazy".
